Jun 13, 2005

My Change & Subsequent Exodus

This is an old post that I started and couldn't figure out how to finish. Some recent events have gotten me thinking about it again and I have posted it with it finally completed. It is a rather deep introspective and is just an attempt of mine to get some thoughts off of my chest.


I believe I have found the best way to blog. To find the proper mindset, one must listen to classical music. While I was listening and checking my email, I began some introspection, as I am prone to do. I was brought to a rather tough question. Am I a good conservative? While I consider myself to be one and agree with most of the bylines of the Republican party, I do stray from the pack on certain issues. Is it just my upbringing in California or is it that I have just misled myself to believe I am conservative?

Case in point being my support for abortion and gay marriages(or unions or whatever you want to call them). I don't believe that the government has the right to invade the lives of others and regulate these sorts of things. I do believe that partial-birth and third trimester abortions are morally reprehensible and wrong, I do support all the other kinds of abortion. Does this mean I have failed at being a Republican and am no better than the Loony Leftie? I don't have the answer yet. While I support gun rights and detest most attempts to create harsher gun control laws and believe in tax cuts and defense spending, I violate some of the chief beliefs of most of my other fellow conservatives.

Does this key difference make me a Democrat or does it cast me off to some nameless third party? Who's to say? There is no doubt in my mind that my liberal upbringing (both my parents are Democrats) has affected my outlook on life. But to what degree? I once considered myself a Democrat, and was a big Clinto supporter, I guess I still am in a way. For better or for worse, I was introduced to the world of parties and politics early on. One of the ways my teachers would try to broaden my, and the rest of my fellow students', horizons was to explain the world of politics to us. These lessons would usually be sprinkled with the teacher's own beliefs, but c'est la vie. I quickly became a Democrat, the only reasons for which were that my parents were Democrats and I was naive and uneducated in the workings of the world. It wasn't until the 2000 election that I realized I was a Republican. I listened to what both sides had to say, and found that I believed more in what the conservatives had to say than the liberals. This news was received with much debate by my parents, but they saw no point in arguing with me as I am one of the most stubborn and tenacious people on the planet. My fellow peers on the otherhand had many other, less pleasant, things to say about my epiphany. Much to their chagrin, I had crossed over to the Dark Side and they were quick to point out how stupid I was. Much of my middle school peers, I wish never to see again and that is one of the reasons, among other things that I will not discuss anytime soon. When I got into high school things did not change very much. In fact, I try not to talk about politics with most of the school population because I know that it will come down to me trying to them calling me names and spewing such things as "No blood for oil!" or "Bush lied, people died!" at me. If you can't tell, I made sense of my political beliefs much more intelligently than much of the student population at my school. But there have been a seldom few that have respected me and my opinions and appreciated my point of view. Our friendship has lend to many an interesting conversation.

But, I am astounded at how intolerant many liberals are out here. I can't believe that so many people can accept flagrant homosexuals who walk around in nearly nothing and hookers on the streets, but can't accept me because I believe in a different world view. What's wrong with this picture? In my experience, the conservatives have been the most practical and organized and even tolerant people in California. They will admit to being wrong and will not hold others' beliefs against them. But who am I to make generalizations like that? I am growing tired of having to constantly defend my beliefs from wacko lefty moonbats. It is one of the hassles of being a conservative in such a liberal city and state. But that seems to be improving as Republicans gain more and more ground in this state. But I still wish I lived in Middle America or the South where I can just go about my business.


I can't seem to find a decent ending to this discussion and internal conflict. I am unsatisfied with leaving this post the way it is, but I just don't know how to end it. I suspect that I will return to this in the future, but I cannot provide a definent timetable. If only the answers to life were simpler.

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