Jun 10, 2005

Bein' A Man

I found this post(HAT TIP:Chuck) a couple days ago, but didn't have the time to comment on it, so now that I do have the time I'm going to throw in my two cents. This all started in response to a report from France that the manly man was dead, and apparently it's cool and ok to wear pink and still be considered a man.(HAT TIP:Blackfive) I am left wondering why this report took so darn long? In the wake of Queer Eye For The Insert Your Target Audience Here shows, and many other shows and trends that have been turning the men of America into "product"-wearing panzies. Sorry, but that dog just won't hunt for me. Here in Los Angeles, there are more panzies than I can stand. The kind of men who are indecisive and cower in fear at having to make decisions or having to actually deal with their problems. While you aren't a man just because you don't use moisturizer or wear cologne, it comes from being tough, decisive, and not being afraid to stand up for what you believe in.

A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in in your home, or a natural disaster -- you DEAL WITH IT.

A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be. This falls under the "Dealing With It" portion of The Code.

A Retrosexual is only allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as addiction to alcohol or other drugs, death of your entire family in a freak tree-chipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you.

A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough. He will always stand by his word, even if circumstances change or the other person deceived him.

A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things, we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT!

There are far to few men willing to DEAL WITH IT, than there should be. Everything in LA is far too PC and it is hard to say anything at all without instantly being labeled. In fact, just the other day I was ridiculed because I don't say much in my English class by a friend of mine. I simply pointed to the fact that if I did open my big, fat mouth on many topics in that class I would be ruled as a heartless, chaucinistic, out-dated bastard by the more than 90% female majority of the class. Just to give you an idea of the diversity, out of the 25 or so students, there are only three guys, myself included, and the other two are not exactly what I would call manly. There are a few militant feminists in the class to, but I haven't figured out who they are yet. In the rush to create equality and to change the gender roles and stereotypes, I believe we have gone too far. We, as a society, have done away with the strong, tough, aggressive, man of conviction and have replaced him with a pink shirt wearing sissies.

When I am around the football team, there is a vast difference. The language becomes saltier, and the topics become more "manly", i.e. girls, cars, girls, food, and football. Everyone on the team is what would be traditionally defined as a man. Tough, honorable, rough-n-tumble, and about as manly as they come. The line especially. It is the final bastion for all of the "old school" notions of what a man should be. You need to have these sorts of men in football, because they are the only ones who can handle the sport. If you can't stand a little pain, the idea of getting dirty, or having to be tough, then you need not try out for football, I do understand that golf is a good sport though. Football teaches young men the skills we will need later in life. It separates the men with cajones from the wimps. It reinforces the good vs. the bad, the honor, the roughhousing, and the normal male behavior that seems to be made almost illegal in mainstream society. It will be a sad day when being on your school's football team is considered to be on the edge of mainstream society. A sad day indeed.

We need these things. Without roughhousing and name-calling and, dare I say it, fighting, we males cannot learn to be a normal part of the world. We are now taught that violence is bad, no matter whether it is neccessary to protect yourself, your family, or your honor. We are taught as boys that we are no good unless we sitmin our seats and shut up, no matter that we would rathe rbe running around, exploring the world. We are given ritalin and aderol and all those other psychoactive drugs so that our natural male tendencies can be suppressed. Instead of being reinforced and allowed to foster into a useful skill or a boon of some kind. Instead, we a have become hyperactive pests who can't sit still, won't amount to anything, and can't concentrate in school. We're full of energy that is not being harnessed. And this is caused by, sorry ladies, the extreme focus and slant on the female population. Ever since the radical feminist movement of the 1970s, the American male has gotten the royal screwing. While we have been quick to applaud and support women, we have left the males of the country scratching their heads and said "Hey, you're a man, you can get along just fine," and then proceeded to weed out the classic "male" behaviors and re-teach new, sissified ideals. And this is what you get for that. You get less men going to college and graduating high school. You get more kids on psychoactive drugs like ritalin and zoloft for depression and hyperactivity, and you get more cases of ADD/ADHD, which is nothing more than another attempt to do away with the natural tendencies of the human male. I haven't met a single guy who wasn't diagnosed with ADD. Hmmm, I wonder why? We have in effect, made it morally reprehensible to be a man. This is unacceptable. Speaking as a man, who was raised to be honorable, tough, strong, decisive, and everything that a man used to be, I can't stand the state that masculinity is in right now. I can't bear to see it.

I'm not saying that we go back to the societal values of the 1950s but it would be nice if not every kid was expelled for fighting or prescribed medication because he wants to go out and explore and get scraped up and find out what the real world is all about. We need shop class and dodgeball put back into the schools. If this situation isn't rectified, we'll end up as nothing but a bunch of (pardon the french)pussies who can't stand up for what we believe in and are too scared to act. There are times when a man is required and times when a woman in needed. In times of conflict and war and hardship, you need a man, not a metrosexual. You need men who carry guns, have big muscles, and aren't afradi of getting hurt or dying for their beliefs. We categorize these men as having big cajones, but it's shame that not all men can be like this. What the hell ever happened?

Crying. There are very few reason that a Retrosexaul may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets in this case), or loss of a major body part.

I'm not saying that we get it right all the time. I disagree with this phrase. I think real men aren't afraid to emote. I have cried many a time because I am passionate in what i believe in. I cried at when we won the LA CITY CHAMPIONSHIP in 2004 and if we win it again this season(fingers crossed and knocking on wood) I will cry because I will have accomplished my goal and shared the experience with my brothers. I say brothers because that's what a football team becomes after they experience the highs and lows of the season and preseason together. We need more men who are not afraid of the world. Who will act instead of just spewing a bunch of crap out of their mouths. In short we need more men like this:

A Real American Man

Thanks for listening to my rant.

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